VIII.  The Dog & The Perfume Bottle
(a free translation)

“My beautiful dog, my good little doggy, my pooch, come here and breath in the wonderful cologne I’ve just bought at the best perfume shop in town.”

And the dog, while wagging his tale—a gesture, I believe, that corresponds to laughter and smiles among these poor creatures—ran up and stuck his moist nose with curiosity into the unstoppered bottle.  Recoiling suddenly with fear, however, he barked at me as if in reproach.

“Ah! miserable dog, if I’d offered you a package of excrement, you’d have sniffed it with pleasure.  You might have devoured it.  So, dog—my sad life’s undeserving companion—you resemble the public that one must never exasperate with delicate perfumes.   Better, instead, to offer them carefully chosen manure.”

From Le Spleen de Paris,
Charles Baudelaire